Horsepower & Hugs
My daughter's obsession to one day drive a loud car that goes fast, is the reason weekends from April until October are allocated to the racetrack. Relationships started in the pits are strengthened through cheering the wins, consoling the losses and commiserating over inevitable crashes.
Maybe it’s the inhalation of racing fumes but spending time around the same people, a romantic connection is bound to happen. If one is lucky enough, innocent flirtation can develop into something deeper. Therefore, it’s not a big surprise to my best friends that I'm falling for a guy who builds engines for an NHRA pro mod team.
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With today's technology, having a long-distance relationship is far easier than the letter-writing days of yesteryear. Yet, it's just as complicated. Besides the obvious level of trust that needs to be there, no amount of texts, photos or videos can replace the connection formed through positive, frequent touch. It's remarkable how much you miss something as simple as a hug. Therefore, it's not surprising that statistically the chance of a long-distance relationship working is equivalent to a coin toss.
Unfortunately, the lack of human touch isn't a phenomenon designated solely to long-distance couples. In today's tech-savvy world, the vital benefits of human touch are in danger of disappearing from all of our relationships - personal and professional. Think of how many times a day you engage in a form a positive human touch. Do you hug your significant other or child daily? When talking with a business associate, do you shake their hand? Do you pat someone on the back to reaffirm a good job? Do you embrace a friend when you meet up with them?
Research has shown physical touch is the foundational element of human development and culture. Since the beginning of our existence, humans have developed complex languages, cultures and emotional expression through physical contact. Simple actions such as a warm handshake, hug or a pat on the back are all ways to convey love, camaraderie, a job well done or sympathy to another person. Yet, the growing preoccupation with digital media vs. physical contact, combined with social stigma and legal restrictions over physical contact in schools and workplaces, maybe unintentionally endangering a vital necessity that allows us to thrive.
Scientific studies have correlated physical touch as vitally important to many aspects of our lives beginning in infancy. Babies starved of positive physical touch have a difficult time thriving. Psychological studies have concluded infants who are not held, nuzzled and hugged enough can stop growing. If the situation continues long enough they can die. When raised in orphanages, children who do not have intensive, repeated, loving contact with the same one or two people, start to fear touch and avoid it. This is due to an absence of proper human connection. The same effect happens if we isolate and limit contact from others as we age.
As technology becomes further engrained in our daily lives, it is imperative to be consciously aware of the necessity of human touch. Touch bonds people together. Neuroscientist, Edmund Ross, discovered physical touch activated the brain's orbitofrontal cortex which is linked to feelings of reward and compassion. Subsequent studies have shown simple touch triggers the release of oxytocin in the brain creating intimacy, trust and a feeling of being safe. Non-sexual touch between partners strengthens emotional intimacy.
Although there is a tendency to equate touch with sexual intimacy - platonic touch can create positive atmospheres in schools and workplaces. Children that receive a pat on the back or a gentle touch on the hand from their teacher become more engaged in learning. Co-workers who engage in various forms of simple touch build stronger team dynamics leading to better productivity. In fact, a study found NBA teams whose players touched each other more, won more games.
We have all heard the saying, "An apple a day keeps the doctor away." Try swapping out an apple with a hug. University of North Carolina researchers found women who received more hugs from their partners had lower heart rates and blood pressure. It was discovered that gentle pressure on the sternum stimulated the thymus gland, which regulates and balances the body's production of white blood cells, hence strengthening the immune system. Plus, touch has been found to boost mood keeping anxiety and depression at bay.
Only time will tell if a long-distance relationship that lacks a basic human need can be successful. The high powered attorney who came before was allocated to the friend zone after not being able to prioritize quality time. Therefore trying to date in a tech-dependent world may solidify my future to cat lady status. Who knows? What I do know is, it’s my duty to teach my daughter that quality time with family and friends is more important than a tablet. She will understand the difference between positive and negative touch, so as to, not stigmatize healthy interpersonal touch. And above all, I will treasure every hug she gives me on and off the racetrack.
Opinions expressed in this section are solely those of the individual authors and do not represent the views of RiverBender.com or its affiliates. We provide a platform for community voices, but the responsibility for opinions rests with their authors.
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